Friday, November 23, 2012

And They Wonder Why I Drink

You know, I've always accepted this parenting business ain't for wimps and the older my kids get the more I realize that the job of parenting is like a roller coaster.  One minute, it's exhilirating and my ass has left the seat with the force of all those gs; the next, I just wanna launch my lunch.  No wonder I've always hated the damn things.

What the hell is the world coming to?  I accept not everyone lives the way we do.  I get it.  Not everyone lives in a straight, mommy and daddy living in the same house as man and wife, WASP environment.  Fair enough.  As the kids have gotten older, I've had to explain divorce and the single parent household; the same sex parent household; and the racially diverse household.  It's all good; I'm an adult and I can handle it.  I've explained the standard 'these are your parts and no one touches 'em ever' rigamarole.  But someone please explain to me the precociousness of today's children.  It's ridiculous that some parents treat kids as mini-adults. 

NEWS FLASH: they aren't mini-adults.  That's why we call them CHILDREN!

For several years, I've had an eye on a friend of my son's.  It's unkind, but the child has future hootchie written all over her to the point I've cornered the mother and told her to have a talk with her child about boundaries and keeping her hands to herself.  It's no surprise, considering the environment she lives in, however, no amount of me saying (politely, mind you) 'knock it off' seems to work.  I feel shitty for feeling the way I do and yes, I genuinely feel badly for this child.  She gets shuttled to our house when mommy's boyfriend du jour is on the premises or to her grandparents' for weeks on end.  If this child's clothes got any tighter, they'd qualify as skin and she's constantly all over my son.  It's to the point I feel like a warden watching over the inmates when she's over to play.  What kind of 10 year old child (no, I'm not joking) acts like a hustling twentysomething?!  Today, she flatout asked if she could spent the night as my son's guest. 

Pardon me whilst I scrape my jaw off the pavement.


ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME?!?  Let me think about it a, HELL NO!

Am I missing something here?  Would you let your kid have an opposite sex friend spend the night?  When I blindsided Himself with the whole conversation, he had the same reaction to the sleepover question, but still feels it's perfectly okay that they continuing playing together.  I say the difference between 10 and 13 is huge and that's the end of that.  On the other hand, maybe if she's away from home more she'll start acting like a normal 10 year old.  What do you think?  Am I wrong?

Where's the wine?


  1. I really believe it takes a village... Forget the parent(s?)You would not be out of line to talk to the girl. A stable adult in her life right now could make all the difference in the world to this kid. At 10. she can only learn how women act by the women she sees, you can be a positive role model for her. Off my soap box now :)

  2. You need somethin' a little stronger than wine!
    I will pray for guidance for you.
    In the meantime, continue to do what you think/feel/know is right.

  3. I agree with doodlebugmom, and with you. It is inappropriate for a ten year old girl to be sexualized so early, and it is alarming. If speaking to her mother has not worked then you may be dealing with a home abuse situation. Children mimic what they see, and, learn to please as they are taught. I'm glad that she is not approaching your husband with the same type of behavior. I would definitely say no to a sleep over with your son, or your daughter for that matter, and being unavailable for this family might be the best thing overall. I feel kind of sorry for the girl, but there is not much you can do.

  4. Omg..I absolutely agree with you, sounds like her mom doesnt want to be a parent to her, especially when the boyfriend is around. That is so sad! Some people just have no idea how to raise children. Some people shouldnt have children. I do think that you should talk to this girl yourself, she may respond to what you have to say and take a moment to stop and think about how she is being raised. She'll see the differences between her house and yours and see the way things should be. You may just be saving her life...

  5. This is a really tricky situation. Kids behave the way they see others behaving, and realistically it isn't your responsibility to parent this child.

    However , having been in a similar situation , you can enforce boundaries of good and decent behaviour in your own home . You can say what is appropriate and what you will accept. That's what I'd be doing. If that doesn't work maybe you need to sever the friendship and explain to the mother why you've done that.