Friday, June 29, 2012

My Weekend Prayer

Dear Lord,

Hello, it's me again!  How's your Friday going?  Mine?  Well, mine's been pretty good actually.  The Co-Defendants and I spent the day together running errands and generally hanging out and it's been, well, pleasant.  I haven't yelled and they haven't fought.  And before You ask, none of us are drugged.

Here's the deal though, Lord.  Although the children are behaving and I prepared and served a scrumptious meal which brought me rave reviews (I'm not bragging, it's just fact), my husband's mood has plummeted due to unforseen and dire circumstances.

Dear Lord, the cable TV isn't working.

Now, I know my marriage vows said 'in sickness and in health; for richer, for poorer; in good times and in bad' but Lord, it's the weekend and the thought of spending over 48 hours with a man who considers cable to be as vital to living as his heart or his um, well, anyway...his heart, this could be the end of our happily ever after.

So Lord, if you could by some stretch fix the cable or have Hubby do a weekend Snow White routine, I'd be ever so grateful.  Not to mention, I wouldn't wind up with a criminal record.


Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Round And Round We Go

My current WIP will probably be the end of me and my dubious quilting career.  At the very least, it'll leave me arthritic and cross-eyed.  It's a quilt top pieced by my great-grandmother that my Mom has been after me to quilt and, of course, it must be by hand

Let's pause for a moment whilst I wail and bang my noggin on the desktop...

I first blogged about it here and that was the end of it.  I'd managed to get all three layers smoothed onto the quilting frame and it sat, unhappy and all alone, in my closet with the tawdry romance novels and self-help diet books.  Poor thing.  Anyway, I pulled it out, dusted it off and got down to brass tacks.
Bad light, poor picture sorry!

I know, this is about as exciting as watching the water swirl down the toilet.  From my view, it's progress.  Sure, I'm slow as molasses in January but it's hand quilted just like Mom ordered...never mind the fact that this picture represents about an hour's worth of work.  I opted not to pencil in quilt lines as the piecing itself isn't perfect, either.  I settled on three rings around each flower and I'll outline quilt in the sashing and corner blocks.

This is what I have left...
Oh, Merciful Mother of Quilters, this is gonna take awhile!

On a brighter note, there's a new quilt shop in town...Hip Stitch Studio!  Co-Defendant #2 and my Mom dropped by yesterday and my mother happily reported it. was. AWE-SOME so naturally #2 and I went  today.  Both the owner, Joan, and her hubby were quick to tell me #2 made quite an impression on them.  Sigh.  Cringe.  Where's the Xanax?  I was assured she was an angel...must've been before the meds wore off.  Such a nice shop though with good prices and modern fabrics...not a 30s repro in sight...YES!  We will be going back...did you doubt it?!

Happy quilting, y'all!

Saturday, June 23, 2012


My 'baby' turned eight today.  Yesterday she was a chubby legged toddler whom I was coaxing to say 'Mama'; today she's a smack talking eight year old who couldn't keep quiet if her life depended on it.  And some days, trust me, it does.

Lord, give me strength for the next 365 days!  And for however long thereafter You deem fit.

My Dad, who's big into woodworking and can build practically anything, had set aside some tools in his workshop just for her.  Today, he decided she needed her own.  So, off they went to Home Depot which she told him is her favorite store of all time (huh?) to purchase her very own set.


Do you think she's excited?

That bag is filled with tools.  Not miniature-sized ones, mind you, but full-sized, sweaty, low-ridin' pants wearin', hunka man tools.  Hammer, tape measure, screwdrivers, pliers, a SAW (no, I am not kidding), level and heaven knows what else.  Apparently, my Dad is trying to prepare her in case she marries a fellow that is not so handy.  Not that I'd be married to anyone like that...ahem.

She got some really awesome Lego sets and plowed through two sets before the birthday cake sugar slump and frustration kicked in.  So, in steps Big Bro to get her back on the Lego track.

'Please tell me you didn't take my picture...'
Happy Birthday, Peabody!

Thursday, June 21, 2012

You Don't Want To Go There

Pardon me while I rant.  Or don't pardon me.  It's your call.

This goes out to every judgemental asshat who thinks they have a say in how my husband and I parent our children, specifically about our decision to medicate them because of their ADHD.  If you're one of those folks that thinks ADHD is about bad parenting or out of control children who just need a good old-fashioned ass-whoopin', let me assure you you don't know shit.  ADHD is a medical condition related to brain chemistry and brain anatomy.  It can be hereditary.  Don't believe me?  Look it up.  And before you go all snarky, no I didn't drink or do drugs while I was pregnant.  And no, I've never done dope at any other time, either. 

A friend summed ADHD up this way...imagine every movie, TV show and commerical you've ever seen and every song you've ever heard.  Now imagine all those sounds and images barrelling through your brain at once.  All that WHILE trying to learn and live a normal life.  Sounds like a picnic, right?!

Both my kids struggle: one with grades, the other with behavior.  I'm proud to say one child's last report card was mostly, this isn't me being sarcastic.  The other one struggles to make and keep friends because they play like an NFL linebacker and ping-pong between activities.  They get in trouble for fidgeting and talking out of turn, stuff neuro-typical children can control and parents of neuro-typical children take for granted.  You think this is easy for them?  Screw off!

Come live ONE day inside of them and see what it's like.  You couldn't hack it.  I'm the Mom and I only see part of their struggle.  I cannot imagine what it's like to have ADHD, nor do I care to do so.

You don't like the fact I put them on amphetamines?  Trust me, you wouldn't like them off of them.  You, you judgemental asshat, would be the first to bitch and whine about their behavior and why aren't you as a parent doing anything about it!  They are truly lovely children even though I bitch about them on this blog.  I'd like them even if they weren't mine.   

Do not question our decisions as parents about how/when/why we treat these children with medications.  It's for their benefit, not yours.  Rest assured, we monitor their weight and make sure they have a good diet.  We watch them closely for side effects.  Not that this is any of your affair.  They are, after all, my children not yours.

I am the mama bear.  Don't mess with my cubs.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

WIP Wednesday: Civil War

My first swan-dive into curved piecing came courtesy of a co-worker who'd purchased some templates from a quilt shop during one of her many do it yourself shop hops.  L assured me curved piecing was a snap even though I'd heard the same tune from my aunt Patsy.  Frankly, I didn't believe either one of them.  It all sounded like an evil plan to drive me over the edge.  But wonder of was pretty easy and I sewed two charm packs worth of curved blocks.

And they sat in a box for over a year...

The other night I unearthed them and started playing around.  The prints are Civil War era, not my personal favorite.  This is one of the scenarios I came up with.  My brain doesn't like randomness at all and keeps pushing for more symmetry please!  Maybe I'll go with a more traditional Drunkard's Path.  Stay tuned.

I'm linking up to WIP Wednesday at Freshly Pieced.  Won't you join me?

Happy quilting, y'all!

Friday, June 15, 2012

Quilt Riches

Is there such a thing as too many quilts?  My soon to be teen son is rich in quilts from all sorts of family members...and this isn't all of them.  I braved the pit he calls his bedroom so I could wash linens and pulled all of these off his bed!

Notice Lulu cowering behind the quilts?
It's funny to see them all hanging there as they represent a progression from baby to (he thinks) grown-up. 

The John Deere tractor quilt is one of the first ones I ever made for him and the other is when he was convinced baseball would be his career of choice...I think he was six at the time.

Ah yes, the hot air balloon phase!  The sailboats and bears quilt was made by his Great-Aunt Doris.

My Mom made both of these...

And this one, too.  I love rag quilts especially in the colder months since they're so snuggly and heavy.

I love making quilts and believe I pour a lot of myself into each and every one of them.  To know my kids sleep under something I made, maybe being comforted by it when they need it most makes me quite happy.

Happy quilting, y'all!


My children are absolutely committed to the notion that I just fell off the turnip truck.  In Texan, this means they think I'm utterly gullible.

Several months back, Co-Defendant #1 learned the fine household art of doing laundry after I found a stack of clean, neatly folded clothing buried under a pile of dirty underpants in his hamper.  You'd think #2 would've learned a thing or two from this experience.  She gloated over #1's unfortunate circumstances and went her merry way.

Apparently, I'm not raising rocket scientists here.

I'm sooo tired of doing laundry!

Shoving dirty clothes into your dresser drawers gets you instant membership into the Do Your Own Laundry Society.  Welcome!

I am one happy mama! 

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Redneck Humor

Why can't I be one of those gals that makes a tidy bundle coming up with clever slogans that get slapped on a variety of items like lunchboxes, dishtowels and yard art!?  I tell you, if I'd thought of ______, I'd be retired by now.

But I'm not, so my purchase today is feathering someone else's nest.  So be it.  With two smart-assed lovely children in the house, I just had to buy this metal sign...

Yes, I could've appropriated the slogan as my own and NOT bought the sign, but I figure being able to point to said sign while uttering the slogan will save this redneck mama some jail time should I instead have opted to strangle one of the aforementioned offspring.  Besides, I don't look good in horizontal stripes or day-glo orange...and even I know you don't wear socks with flip-flops!

My son just rolled his eyes...and I pointed to the sign and in my most awesome Texas twang (it's a twang, not an accent..accents are for our northern brethren.  That's our lesson for the day) delivered those sure to be infamous words. 

Golly, was that satisfying!

WIP Wednesday: BOM Style

I've been about as productive as my soon-to-be-teen son when given a list of chores.  Yep, there's a whole lotta nuthin' going on in the sewing department in my house. 

One block is the extent of my sewing accomplishments this week.  I'm trying not to strain myself (wink).

I've never participated in a block of the month (BOM) project before, but for $1, how could I go wrong?  My local quilt shop, Tomorrow's Quilts, is hosting a BOM in four colorways...I chose brights.  You get the fabric for each block and a set of destructions instructions.  The block construction uses Thangles of which I have a beauteous bounty, but of course I didn't have the size needed for this project..thank you, Mr, Murphy.  There's plenty of fabric left over to make a second block and considering my 7 1/2 inch square block came out at 7 1/4 x 7 3/8, I'd say a second block is in my immediate future. 

I don't know why I'm a quilter since I strive mightily for perfection and fall short every time!

If I ever make this in a colorway of my own creation, it'll be batiks or really gaudy florals.  Not sure why this is considered a 'bright' colorway, but the other options just didn't blow my skirt up.  The finishing kit (not $1, I might add) has some pretty spectacular colors in it, so there's hope for future blocks.

I'm linking up today to Lee at Freshly Pieced.  Check out what other crafty types are working on and get inspired!

Happy quilting, y'all!

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Darn You Jessie!

Co-Defendant #2 is a huge fan of Disney Channel and the show Jessie in particular.  If you don't know about Jessie, played by actress Debby Ryan, here's a bit of background:

She's from a military family stationed at Ft. Hood Texas who came to New York City to chase her dreams of music stardom and wound up as a nanny for a whole passel of spoiled, needy kids whose dad is some rich Hollywood-type and his supermodel/supermogul wife.

Jessie's accent grates on my nerves (I sooo do not sound like her) and she's a few bricks shy of a full load if you get my drift. 

Where am I going with this?  Well, Toys 'R Us nicely sent #2 a gift card for her upcoming birthday so of course we HAD to make a trip there this morning.  And what does she want?  A guitar...just like Jessie.

Thank you, a thousand thank yous merciful Lord, that she didn't want drums!

Where's the Tylenol?


The lucky recipient of the leftover Christmas strips is...


Please email me ASAP with your shipping info and I'll drop it in the mail on Monday.  Thanks everybody for playing along and to Betty P for sharing her scraps in the first place!

Friday, June 8, 2012

A Finish and a Giveaway

Co-Defendant #2 and I have been busy, busy, busy today what with running around town spending money and planning our Mom and Me slumber party.  I am exhausted.  I am also stuffed full of pizza, sunburned and totally nauseous after watching Puss in Boots.  Not even the voice of Antonio Banderas could make that movie appealing.  But she's happy so it's worth it.  I think.

Here's the finish I managed to eeck out, my version of a Jelly Roll 1600 quilt.  Y'all, I never got so dang tired of stitching strips together!  The strips are from my friend, Betty P, who had them left over from a previous project.  I still have about half of them left. 

If anyone would like the leftovers, leave a comment and I'll draw a name tomorrow at noon my time.  (You know how I am about long waits!)

We've already painted our toenails (I'm too damn tired to bend down to take photos not to mention my own jelly rolls are in the way...that's fat rolls, not boobs...geez, you guys!).  Her toes are glittery; mine are blue and make me look cyanotic.  Oh, well!

Do we look like we're about to be naugh-teeee?

We are!!  Look what's for dessert...
Oreo cupcake

Chocolate...what else?!
Cupcakes from What About Cupcakes? in Waco.

Well, I'm off to watch an episode of The Dead Files (love it!) and eat a cupcake.  Can you eat a cupcake and drink a cocktail?  I'm about to try.  I'll let you know how it turns out.

Linking up to nifty Richard and Tanya QuiltsAmy Lou Who and Confessions of a Fabric Addict!

Happy quilting, y'all!

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Rock The House!

Having sent the Testosterone Twins merrily on their way to the land of squealing tires, exhaust fumes and screaming paint jobs, Co-Defendant #2 and I are enjoying a bit of male-free quiet.  This means no Speed Channel, no train movies and no farting.  Well, except for the dog.

Welcome to...

The House of Estrogen!

Like Belushi and Akroyd...only better looking and way more awesome!

We've already done the Mayborn Museum (and JoAnn's Fabrics!) and plotted our slumber party over dinner at Outback Steakhouse.

I've got daiquiris (mine, natch!) and cookies and cream ice cream (hers) chilling in the freezer.

Look out, y'all...the Bowen girls are on the loose!

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Windy and WIPd

Sometimes I think Central Texas has got to be the windiest spot in the whole U.S. of A!  Co-Defendant #2 and I watched the wind whip up a dust cloud in the neighbor's driveway this big funnel cloud of grit and grime.  It's really a knee-slapper when you get a cornhusk cloud a-twirling!  No, it doesn't take much to excite us me.  Add in the humidity and rising temperatures...ugh!  Baby, it's cold enough to hang meat in my house.  Just ask DH.

On to quilty things!  I've been doing a lot of stripping lately and boy does it make everything go faster.  Focus here...I'm still talking quilting.

Keen eyes (or space satellites) may be able to pick up the, ahem, slight discrepancy in accurancy as the quilt nears its outer rings of strips.  Let me be clear: this was entirely on purpose!  And I'm gonna wake up a size 2, also.  Anyhoo, I decided I'll embellish it with rickrack and make a center diamond around the parts that are actually correct.  You know, nothing detracts from a glaring holy-crap screw-up quite like embellishing the darn thing!  Moral of the story: measure thrice and cut once.  And yes, I'm still giving this puppy away!

From the leftovers, I pieced this...

Go ahead and yawn but sometimes, okay, okay A LOT of times, my brain just wants to sew and not think about pattern and direction (please refer to first picture for photographic evidence of this phenomena).  The hum of Lennie the Featherweight and she zips her way over the fabric is just. so. soothing.

So what are you working on this week?  I'm linking up to Lee at Freshly Pieced!

Happy quilting, y'all!

Friday, June 1, 2012

It's June Already?!

How can it possibly be June?!  It's a beautiful morning with temperatures in the I still in Texas?  Has the world gone mad?!  Quick, somebody pinch me!

I managed one finish this week before The Illness kicked in and have another in-progress project that I hope to finish up by the weekend.

My Mom gave me a whole stack of squares of these kid-friendly prints and they sat for awhile on my sewing table mocking me.  One day I had one of those 'just sew anything' moments and this is what I came up with.

This fabric has languished on a shelf for ages and goes perfectly with the bug-gy squares as a border.

There's a stack of scraps left from trimming up the corners so I'll have plenty of mini-blocks for another quilt.  I've always like a 2-for-1 deal.  Now, what to do with the REST of that stack...

Check out what other crafty folks are working on at Confessions of a Fabric Addict, Richard (and Tanya!) Quilts and Amy Lou Who.

Happy quilting, y'all!