Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Flannel Finish

Here's the WIP I was supposed to be working on when I got hopelessly distracted by all those lovely pincushions.  Well, I finally finished it...clipping and all and got it delivered earlier in the week.  YES!

The colors are definitely not me and who wants to work with flannel when it's 7000 degrees outside?! I got some really funny looks at the quilt shop.  But it was for a good cause and the recipient is very happy. YAY!

I like rag quilts as they are very quick and extremely forgiving.  DH asked where the pattern came from...I told him from the steel sieve of my mind.  He didn't get it.  Sigh.

Happy quilting, y'all!

I've linked to Richard Quilts, Confessions of a Fabric Addict and Amy Lou Who.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Unproductive Targets

I love to read my daily horoscope.  It's a lot of fun, but it's not like I plan my day around it or anything.  After all, the blurb underneath it clearly states 'Astrology has no basis in science.  This column is for entertainment only.'  I never would've guessed.  Reading it at the end of the day is even better because, if my day went according to the alignment of heavenly bodies, then the stars must be right...right?!  Weird, I know, but there it is. 

Today's horoscope went like this...

'If you deviate from your plans, you're likely to lose focus and squander effort on unproductive targets.  Stick to your agenda, and you'll do just fine.'

What's weird is, today's horoscope would've been better suited to Friday or Saturday.  I have a WIP that  absolutely must get finished, but what did I choose to work on for a nice chunk of the weekend?  Add to the fact, that I just HAD to eat and sleep...well, let's just say the WIP is still waiting. 

Aren't they cute?!  I love me some pincushions!  These were leftover paper-pieced blocks that I paired with a charm square, trimmed to size and then filled with crushed walnut shells.  I haven't decided what to do with them yet.  I mean, how many pincushions does a girl need, right?  Maybe there's a giveaway in there somewhere.  Stay tuned. 

All the while, the WIP has hung on the design wall screaming for me to hurry up and get it done.  Patience, grasshopper, patience.

Happy quilting, y'all! 

Friday, July 20, 2012

Face Palm

Human beings never fail to surprise me.

As a kid, Dad and I would park ourselves on a mall bench and watch the crowds pass by.  Exciting stuff, I know, but boy did we have enough fodder on which I could exercise my bourgeoning talent for sarcasm.

The other night, I managed to escape to the local bookstore all by my lonesome (have I mentioned what a great husband I have?) to score some new reading material.  Ah, peace and quiet and no Co-Defendants.  The checkout was manned (and I use 'man' loosely, but 'boyed' just doesn't have the same oomph, does it?) by a baby-faced whippersnapper who enthusiastically inquired if I had a store discount card.

'No,' I replied, 'but let me give you my phone number'.

You should've seen the look of abject horror on his face.  A few uncomfortable seconds passed before it dawned on me that the twerp thought I was hitting on him.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!  There I stood, a 38-year old suburban mom, wearing my 'awesome wife' t-shirt and sporting more leg stubble than he had facial hair.  Pardon me for saying so, sweet cheeks, but do you honestly think I'd schlep my way into felony territory for a go-round with the likes of you?!  Oh.  Em.  Gee.

Mind you, I'm not opposed to the whole idea of being a cougar, but I am married and I'm in no hurry for DH to check out on me yet.
Standing there, staring at the little shit, I channelled my inner Clint Eastwood (him, I'd go felony for, btw) from Gran Torino (Get offa my lawn!) and said...

 I don't want a date...I want my damn discount!

As if.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

There's Still Hope...and Other Assorted Goodies

Fifteen years of marriage and I'm still not what you'd call a fabulous cook.  Just ask my husband.  What am I saying?  He'd lie through his teeth!  Sure, I can fix stuff and keep a clean house.  Not that I'm usually inclined to do so, but I am capable.  Cooking?  Eh, not so much.

At any rate, I bought a couple of cookbooks recently (to add to the library I already have lurking in the pantry) from The Pioneer Woman and crossed my fingers...or at least, my spatulas.

Let me just say...there's hope y'all!  I have successfully managed to prepare meals lately that didn't wind up feeding our garbage can.  I've made stuff that even the dog refused to touch.  I'm not kidding.  Dear Hubby and the Co-Defendants ate each dish so fast I didn't even have time to take pictures.  Then again, maybe they were just choking it down and smiling through their pain...hmm.  Chicken Milanese, Chicken Fried Steak Fingers and a marinated flank steak that turned out to be edible instead of fit only for shoe leather.  Trust me here...this is a call for celebration.
On to fun stuff...

I haven't gotten anything sewn this week and the sewing corner is still a mess.  It was worth it, though.  Sam Worthington, bless his skirt-clad bottom, was totally worth the distraction.  Sigh. 

I did make a trip to the LQS today.  You know it's a great shop when Co-Def #2 (the eight year old) says 'Let's go to Hip Stitch Studio, Mom'.  Bless you, my child.  Of course, I considered it my civic duty to pick up a little (ahem) something...

Woodland by Natalie Lymer for Cinderberry Stitches
I'm ashamed to tell you how many FQs were in the I won't, but I couldn't pass them up they were that cute.

Don't these look like Smurf houses?

Okay, maybe not

But I still like 'em!

My one nod to creativity today has been another handmade card...

Happy Wednesday, y'all!

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

How I Roll

This is for my awesome blog follower, Julianne, who expressed profound appreciation for my obsessively neat fabric stacks. 

Let me begin by saying this is totally NOT my idea.  Of course it isn't.  I never think up awesome stuff for folks to oogle and aaah over.  I saw the idea in an issue of American Patchwork and Quilting and stole it from them.  So, without further ado, let me show you how I roll.

You will need three things...

1) a 6 inch wide ruler.  I use my Omnigrid 6 x 24 inch ruler.

2) fabric (who would've thought?!)
My daughter loves this fabric...Caleb Gray Studio for Robert Kaufmann called 'Suburbia'

3) patience.  Please don't expect me to share any of mine because I don't have enough for everyone.

Now, for the rolling...
Lay the fabric on a flat surface keeping it folded selvedge to selvedge.

Lay your ruler horizontally across the fabric.

Start rolling.  Try to keep it fairly tight as this will keep the entire rolled/folded fabric stack nice and tidy.

All rolled! 

Remove the ruler.

Fold the rolled fabric in half.  Voila!

Three yards is generally my limit when it comes to using this process.  Anything bigger than that and the whole shebang just doesn't come out right, especially if you're rolling flannel.  If you have a buddy at your LQS or Joann's Fabrics, you can usually schmooze (or look really, really your children when they want something...yep, that kind of pitiful) an empty bolt or two from them to use at home.

I've rolled all my fabric this way...and my mother's (twice).  I can do this is my sleep.  And yes, I am for hire but I'm not cheap ;)

Now, get out there and fold some fabric.  And don't let anyone tell you you're picky 'cause you're doing it.  No,'s a-n-a-l.  Wear it with pride!

Happy rolling, y'all!


For Grins and Giggles

My husband has complained for years that I move stuff around simply to frustrate his efforts to find whatever item he's so desperate to discover.  I've maintained that the male of the species simply isn't equipped to stoop down, shuffle stuff around and spy what he needs.  If it's not staring him in the face (like a hot car or obnoxiously large breasts), he's not gonna find it.  It's a man driving around for hours on end when simply stopping to ask for directions would've gotten everyone to their destination six hours ago.

Let me confess...I lie like roadkill.

I move stuff because it's fun to watch him poke and paw through thirteen different cabinets (and that's just the kitchen, y'all!), muttering unintelligibly, brow furrowed in consternation.  This must be what it's like to be a kid and repeatedly poke mother with an index, mom, mom, mom, mom!  WHAAATTT?!  Never mind.

He'd really have a conniption if I moved furniture.  Oh, wait, I did that!  I decided my sewing corner needed a little makeover and had the nerve to do it during Clash of the Titans.  I'm such a bitch.  To be fair, it turned out to be the version with Sam Worthington (sigh) instead of Harry Hamlin so it was tough going for me, let me tell ya.  I'm working on re-do day number three, damn Sam's gorgeously tanned, muscular, sweaty hide. 

I managed to consolidate and eradicate and wound up moving a four foot table out, freeing up more work space space for more fabric.  Hubby just huffed and rolled his eyes.  I'm telling you, it's better than crack, y'all! 

Now, where to move the sofa...?

Monday, July 16, 2012

While You Were Sleeping

My Dad had back surgery today (successful, I might add--no leg pain upon waking!) so I dithered around the house trying to keep myself occupied between checking up on Papa (my Mom's dad) and harassing Mom for surgical updates.  This is code for trying not to stuff my face or break down and take a Xanax.  I still can't believe they discharged him the same day (apparently his stubborn streak was a force to be reckoned with), but Mom says he's so tanked up on pain meds, he's sure to sleep a good long while and he's feeling no pain.  Frankly, I think she's enjoying the quiet.

Anyway, this is what I managed to accomplish today between refereeing the Co-Defendants and letting the dog in and out and in and out and...

These are the blocks I made awhile back in a frenzy of holy cow, this is totally fun, why didn't I try this sooner?! and I've been at a loss as to what to do with them.  I used up all but 5 blocks which I'll probably incorporate into the backing some way.  Looking at it now, I see some blocks whose values are a bit too close for comfort so the block looks muddy, but overall, eh, not so bad.  I'll give it a border or two and VOILA! it shall be done.

What're you up to today?

Happy quilting, y'all!

Monday, July 9, 2012

The Cheerful Cheater

I don't tend to think of myself as a quilting snob (any other variety snob, and I'm all in), however, I readily admit to having somewhat of an aversion to what my mom calls 'cheater quilts'.  I'm fairly certain she's not referring to panels (of which she lays claim to quite a few) but to those pre-quilted panels one simply finishes off with binding.

I know no shame.

Today, I proudly proclaim myself a cheater with my head held high and a certain je ne se what jauntiness to my airs (think of those bar-hopping twentysomethings from the Captain Morgan commercials...yeah, like them).  In a pinch, these pre-quilted babies are the bomb, y'all!  With due dates right around the corner, I ran out of time...okay, I procrastinated shamelessly.  Satisfied?

I didn't get pictures of the first one (trains), but here's the girly one...

Maybe next time, I'll have it all together, but it was lots of fun to say Why, yes, I made it today!

Happy cheating quilting, y'all!

Saturday, July 7, 2012

It's the Heat

Ugh, this July heat may just do me in this time!  You know it's gonna be bad when the low temp for the day is at 4 a.m.  After DH and I cleaned out some stuff for donation, Co-Defendant #2 and I made a run to town to drop it all off.  If I let it sit too long, DH will decide it's a treasure and back into the storage building it will go.  Not this time, buddy!

All this to say, not much got done around here today and even the light on my Featherweight was putting out too much heat for me to entertain the idea of sewing.  Sad, I know.  I did, however, get another card made!

Stay cool, y'all!

But WHY?!

Even Lulu can't explain the 'why' of word verification

I've gotten alot of questions lately about 'Why word verification?'  followed up with comments about how aggravating the whole process is.  Okay, okay!  I found a way to turn it off...for now.  If I start getting spam comments again, I'm turning it back on.  So sit back, relax and enjoy less eye strain!

Happy weekend, y'all!

Friday, July 6, 2012

You're Such a Card!

Lucky for me, the constraints of square footage keep my number of hobbies to a minimum; unluckily, both my hobbies are squashed into a corner of the dining room resulting in a look I like to call 'freshly-tossed tornado'...

This week, I've worked on card-making and it's all my Mother's fault.  She got me into quilting, too.  Hey, Mom, how come you can't introduce me to a cheap hobby?!  Anyway, this is what I've accomplished since last Sunday...

I left all but the sewing one blank on the inside so I can use them for just about anything.

And just to prove that they really aren't Hallmark cards, I had this stamp made to put on the back of each one.

 They're alot of fun if I don't overthink them too much.  Even Co-Defendant #2 has tried her hand at a couple.

So, what are you working on this week?  I'm heading over to Confessions of a Fabric Addict...won't you join me? 

Have a great weekend, y'all!

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Hello Latvia!

Let me confess right up front that I'm in the funkiest mood today this side of ever.  I'm on the other side of needing a Xanax (but haven't taken one so approach me with extreme caution) but on this side of needing a straight jacket.  Let's face it, I don't need to sport a look that makes me look even thicker around the middle than I already am.  Yep, I'm in one of Those Moods.  I'm wiped out from work and the OMG I can't take no more part of me that is a Mommy is letting the Co-Defendants veg out in front of the TV...which leaves me to contemplate those questions in my mind that I occasionally let out for others to enjoy.  This means you get to scratch your head and thank the Lord above that you aren't me.  Or maybe you wish you could be like me, because honestly, I make cuckoo kinda chic.

Here's what's rattling around inside the cranium this afternoon....if you blog, do you ever pay attention to your audience?  I like to see who's looking over my shoulder and possibly laughing hysterically while I and the family (but mostly me) lose our ever-lovin' minds.  Most days, the number of U.S. visitors far exceeds those from any other country which is to be expected since I am an American and we're a nosy friendly bunch.  Not so, today.  Today, the Latvians are all over My Imperfect Life.  Which begs the question...

Am I really that funny, interesting, charming, gorgeous...yes, please feel free to substitute whatever colorful descriptive you feel.  Or are you bored out of your mind and looking for something to knock you out for a quick nap?  I'm not sure I've ever even met a Latvian.  Albanians, Aussies (Lord love 'em and their awesome accents), Brits, Germans and New Yorkers?  Sure, I've met some of them, but never a Latvian.  My loss, I suppose.  So, hello Latvia, hope you guys are having an awesome day!

Well, that's that.  I hope I've given you an incentive to check out your blog's audience (and express gratitude for your own mental stability).  If anything, it gives me an excuse to get out the old atlas and find out where some of these countries are located.  Sorry, geography isn't my thing.

And for one last laugh I give you...
Co-Defendant #1 in a parka.  It was 102 degrees the day I took the picture.  Does this give you any idea how cold it is in my house?!  Hey, if I'm gonna be a little looney, at least I can be cool, too ;)

Happy Thursday, y'all!