Monday, November 26, 2012

I Can Be Trained




Don't tell Himself.

This is the post where an old dog attempted to learn a new trick.  It worked; I'm happy.

Here's a mega-batch of felt roll-ups I made yesterday...my hands are killing me.  I'll make them into a garland for my sewing corner.  The smaller roll-ups I'll use in place of beads.  Aren't I clever?  Frankly, I think the big ones look like the psychedelic swirls I used to see in old Looney Toons cartoons.  Maybe I just need a glass of red...

It's Monday...big whoop.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Felt's Up

No, not that kind of felt up.  I mean felt like the fabric.  Dirty birds!

Look what Wonder Mom and I learned to make at Hip Stitch Studio yesterday as part of their Small Business Saturday makeshop!  Not sure where the idea came from, but thanks to whomever thought it up.


They're meant to resemble a string of peppermint candy, but you could make them any color to match the season or holiday.

Here's how we did it...

You need felt (duh), a harpoon-sized needle and either twine (what we used at the shop) or perle cotton (what I used at home).  Beads are optional.


For the class, the felt was cut in 1/2 inch by 9 inch strips.  You can adjust the measurements to suit your project.  Start by layering the desired number of strips one on top of the other.  For class, we used three but I personally liked using just two strips.  When you start trying to shove the harpoon needle through, you'll understand why.  A word to the wise:  do not apply lotion to your hands prior to doing this.  Yep, I'm raising my hand here.


Then you start the 'candy' by rolling the the strips into a tight coil.


When you're done, it'll look something like this...


...just cut the uneven strips at the end so that they're even with the top strip.

Shove a pin down the center through all the layers to hold the coil in place OR start stringing them right away like I did below (needle-nose pliers work well for this..cursing helps too).

Pinning a gob of them means you'll have something to do while sitting through yet another episode of 'Duck Dynasty'.  Ask me how I know.  Here's my stash...


Then you can string to your heart's content.  I had enough strings to turn my dining room chandelier festive.  I briefly contemplated making enough to trim the tree, but popped a Xanax and I'm all better now.


Have fun getting your felt on!

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Doing My Civic Duty




It's Small Business Saturday!  Why not support your local quilt shop by dropping a chunk of change at their establishment and carting home some fabric loveliness to boot?  I'm dragging taking The Co-Defendants kicking and screaming with me to Hip Stitich Studio in Waco to show Miss J how much I love her shop and support her efforts to bring some modern funk to our local quilting scene.

Have fun and buy local!!

Friday, November 23, 2012

And They Wonder Why I Drink

You know, I've always accepted this parenting business ain't for wimps and the older my kids get the more I realize that the job of parenting is like a roller coaster.  One minute, it's exhilirating and my ass has left the seat with the force of all those gs; the next, I just wanna launch my lunch.  No wonder I've always hated the damn things.

What the hell is the world coming to?  I accept not everyone lives the way we do.  I get it.  Not everyone lives in a straight, mommy and daddy living in the same house as man and wife, WASP environment.  Fair enough.  As the kids have gotten older, I've had to explain divorce and the single parent household; the same sex parent household; and the racially diverse household.  It's all good; I'm an adult and I can handle it.  I've explained the standard 'these are your parts and no one touches 'em ever' rigamarole.  But someone please explain to me the precociousness of today's children.  It's ridiculous that some parents treat kids as mini-adults. 

NEWS FLASH: they aren't mini-adults.  That's why we call them CHILDREN!

For several years, I've had an eye on a friend of my son's.  It's unkind, but the child has future hootchie written all over her to the point I've cornered the mother and told her to have a talk with her child about boundaries and keeping her hands to herself.  It's no surprise, considering the environment she lives in, however, no amount of me saying (politely, mind you) 'knock it off' seems to work.  I feel shitty for feeling the way I do and yes, I genuinely feel badly for this child.  She gets shuttled to our house when mommy's boyfriend du jour is on the premises or to her grandparents' for weeks on end.  If this child's clothes got any tighter, they'd qualify as skin and she's constantly all over my son.  It's to the point I feel like a warden watching over the inmates when she's over to play.  What kind of 10 year old child (no, I'm not joking) acts like a hustling twentysomething?!  Today, she flatout asked if she could spent the night as my son's guest. 

Pardon me whilst I scrape my jaw off the pavement.


W-T-F?!

ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME?!?  Let me think about it a minute...um, HELL NO!

Am I missing something here?  Would you let your kid have an opposite sex friend spend the night?  When I blindsided Himself with the whole conversation, he had the same reaction to the sleepover question, but still feels it's perfectly okay that they continuing playing together.  I say the difference between 10 and 13 is huge and that's the end of that.  On the other hand, maybe if she's away from home more she'll start acting like a normal 10 year old.  What do you think?  Am I wrong?

Where's the wine?

Mini Finish

The Diva, through the insanity generosity of Gramma and Papa, will be getting an American Girl doll this Christmas.  This, for a child who firmly believes she's a boy...go figure!  Anyhoo, Wonder Mom (that'd be Gramma) is making clothes for the doll in question and I decided the doll needed a quilt.  Naturally.

I finished the flimsy a few minutes ago.  Hey, I'm having to pace myself since The Diva and I went out, against my better judgment, to Black Friday at Joann's.  Here's my finish...


I made it from scraps from the Christmas wreath I made.  It's wonky and imperfect and I love it. 

I'm linking up with the fine folks at Confessions of a Fabric Addict, Richard Quilts and Sewing by Moonlight for TGIFF.

Happy quilting, y'all!