Cross Purposes

Starting tomorrow afternoon, you will find me practically attached to my sewing machine via umbilical cord.  No plans (except possibly a stop at a local quilt shop) and no sick kids or calls from the principal (I've already issued threats...to the kids not the principal).

Enter Himself followed closely by his sidekick, Idea.

Bad things happen when Himself and Idea team up.

There was that year I got a wet/dry shop vac and set of drill bits for Christmas.

Then there was the time the shrubbery magically disappeared from round the old homestead.  Naturally, I wasn't around to supervise.  I believe I described the results as 'like a brazilian wax gone bad'.

Now, he's taking off a few days to be with me.  A boy and all that icky testosterone as I try to be creative with fabric and thread and watch Pierce Brosnan in Mamma Mia?  Oh, the horrors!  It'll be my luck if there's a Barrett Jackson car auction going on.  Karma, you bitch!  Before you get all gushy and go 'awwww' at the prospect of Himself wanting to spend time with the most fabulous woman in the world (that'd be me, not Gisele), let me remind you, this is a man we're talking about here.  Wait for it...

I've about decided that not only do vacation plans require utter secrecy from the Co-Defendants (I swear they can get strep throat on command), but Himself as well.  My mistake opening my mouth.  Which brings me to the next phase of his E-veeel Plahn (sorry, going for a European accent here): apparently my help is required for two of my precious sewing days to clean out our storage building we had built back in the summer.

I use the word 'our' loosely here because the majority of the crap contained therein is his.  Women, after all, have treasures; men have crap.  I suggested, nay nagged, that we weed out the detritus that no longer suited our needs rather than storing it up for auld lang syne when, according to Himself's psychic abilities, it would be worth something.  Damn you, eBay!  I swear, the man would save navel lint if he thought it'd fetch a pretty penny.

Anyway, I had a plan, a vision.  This is, after all, what women do...we plan plot strategize.  I wait until he's left the vicinity, then scurry to my little car and stuff it full of crapola for donation and he's none the wiser.  For me, it's a place for everything and everything in its place.  Do you think I got my way? 

That's a negative, Ghost Rider!  And now, on my vacation, he wants me to help him clean that out?!  Actually, that's not quite right.  I got told I was going to help him. 

Oh, realllllly?!

Funny, but in my alternate reality the word 'vacation' implies the conspicuous absence of a boss.  Hmmm....

I know now why women tend to outlive men.  It's because men get ideas and do stupid shit...like getting between a girl and her fabric...and they wind up taking a dirt nap.  Wish him luck.

Pass the Xanax.

Finito!

Another Friday, another finish...this one was 10 years in the making.  Yes, I am a turtle when it comes to cross stitch.

I decided against framing it and turned it into a small wallhanging instead.  Now the question is, will Himself give up a smidge of wall space for it considering alot of the walls in our house are covered with car memorabilia.  We shall see...

On the Co-Defendant front...

Here's The Diva in her Halloween finery.  Easy-peasy costume and a great stress reliever hacking it into shreds at the bottom.  Yay, Mom!!

 
She's a ghost if you can't tell, but now that I really think about it, she could blend in with all those Occupy Wall Streeters.  At least she didn't poop on the pavement though, right?!  If her attitude holds up, next year she's going as a witch.  I already have a broom in the garage with her name on it!

Captain Studly is grooming himself to be the next James Cameron as he has discovered a love of movie/video making.  It's all very artsy-fartsy...heavy on the fartsy.  Can we just say he's thirteen and leave it at that?  He also garnered himself a compliment from his principal about how much he's matured/what a nice young man, etc, etc which made me ask incredulously 'My kid?!'  I know, I know...bad mommy! 

If I can make it through the work weekend, I'll have off seven straight days.  No one better get sick.  As it is, Himself will be with me at least part of that time, hopefully with his head under the hood of his hot rod.  No, that's not my smarmy way of saying my skirt.  I have a stack of stuff that needs finished and more I'm just itching to start.  He's been warned to steer clear of me and call for takeout. 

Pray I show some restraint and stick with the WIPs!

I'm linking up to Richard and Tanya Quilt, Confessions of a Fabric Addict and Crazy Mom Quilts.

Have a fantastic weekend and keep on stitchin' y'all!


  

Halloween WIP

Call me a witch, but Halloween holds as much appeal for me as going to the vet does for the dog.  Perhaps it's the crush of whining little ones every. where. we. go or maybe it's the obviously frazzled parents accompanying them, each wearing an expression that says they'd rather eat ground glass than be trolling for candy.  Or perhaps it's just the thought of a quirky holiday in which we celebrate children begging for candy (much like mine do every time we're at the grocery).  Whatever...The Diva's terribly excited about all that free candy and I'm looking forward to soaking my sore foot when the whole thing's over and done with. 

I successfully managed not to fall down all day and got my 10 year cross stitch WIP almost done.

I'm turning it into a wallhanging.  All that's left is to stitch down the binding.  I briefly thought of doing that by machine, but oddly enough, I really like stitching it down by hand.

Well, I must hop on my broom as we scour the countryside for treats.  Happy Halloween, y'all!

Make a List Monday: The Tuesday Edition

I must've smacked my head in Sunday morning's shower debacle because it slipped my mind that YESTERDAY was Monday.  Sigh.  Smile.  Carry on.

Actually, yesterday I was too busy sucking down painkillers to get my schmit together to even type, but it's amazing what a day of work i.e. no painkillers will do for your psyche.  Big whoo (twirling finger).

So, here's my 'to do' list for this week:

* Don't fall.  Anywhere.

* Get the label stitched onto Captain Studly's Albatross quilt.  YES, IT IS FINALLY QUILTED!!

* Finish 10-year WIP cross-stitch sampler

* Don't fall.  Anytime.

* Get The Diva's costume ready for Halloween.  I AM cutting it a tad close, aren't I?

* Come up with a Christmas gift for my Happy Stitchers quilting bee pal.  Any suggestions?

* Don't fall.  Under any circumstances.

With luck, I'll be able to accomplish the not falling thing.  Then again, I tend to be gifted in the klutz department.

Check out Confessions of a Fabric Addict for more Make a List Monday fun! 

Just pretend it's not Tuesday ;)

Happy quilting, y'all!

Taking Sympathy to an All New Level

Dear Etty,

I wanted you to know how sympathetic I've felt about your bum foot.  It's gotta stink having a hard time getting around, not to mention how it interferes with your sewing.  With that in mind, I managed to slip, twist and crash in my all-time favorite place this morning...the bathtub.  No wonder my kids hate bathing...the place is dangerous!

Anyway, one bone's broken (the doctor 'thinks'...can't you tell for certain from an x-ray?!) and it's turning a lovely shade of mauve.  Crikey, I need a pedicure!  I got this nifty boot and classy pair of crutches.  Yay me!

I'd try and milk this for some sympathy from Himself, but I swear the man's not got a sympathetic bone in his body.  Unless of course he's the one that's ill/injured.  Anyhoo...

Glad yours is on the mend and in a couple of weeks, mine'll be as good as new, too!

Fondly,
Stephanie