Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Do you see what I see?

I have a son named Seth. He's a student in your school, maybe in your class. But you don't know him.
He's the squirmy one. The one who can't keep his hands to himself. The talker, the instigator, the thoughtless comment maker. The one who makes his classmates cry. But you don't know him.
He's the boy with the sloppy handwriting. The one who's always in a hurry. The "underachiever". But you don't know him.
You look at him, but you don't SEE HIM. You see the things he does or those things he fails to do. You see every nit-picky, socially "unacceptable" trait he possesses...the wiggling, the zoned-out look of distraction, the irritation he causes his classmates. But you don't see HIM.
Sure, you call or email and encourage us to "talk to him". As if that will help. As if it's our mission to make your life easier. But we do it your way and for a while it works and your world is restored to order. And yet, you still don't know him or see him.
I'll tell you what you're missing. I see a sweet face. I hear a little boy voice coming from a growing boy body. I see a curious child. A creative child who has such a talent for drawing all sorts of things. I see a child who struggles to print legibly but whose cursive is beautiful. I see a brother who by turns will hug and cuddle or push and slap at his sister. I see a jokester and good-natured teaser. I see a taunter and yes, sometimes, a bully. I see an obsessive lover of books. I see a child so frustrated, to the point of tears, because he can't retrieve the data he needs from his ADHD brain.
I see him struggle and know in my heart that he gives everything he's capable of giving. How hard it must be to cope! I hear his quavering voice say "No one see me when I do something good". I do.
How sad your life must be to miss out on TRULY seeing and knowing this boy.
I see him.
I know him.
I love him.


  1. Aww, that made me cry. The sad thing was I knew exactly what he had before I finished reading.. Lucky me, my fiance has it..He has dealt with it his whole life, and has helped other children deal with it. The sad part is the teachers just want to medicate, and not work to solving the issues.. yes, I know sometimes they need it, but not in all cases, and that is not the only solution, as you know it is a mult fauceted treatment program to manage it.. I am tired, sorry for ranting.

  2. I forgot to mention, he thinks I have a mild version of the Adult ADD, possibly, add hyper in there as well, because I have trouble focusing, and I can never finish one thing.. I get bored, and my mind goes a mile a minute without getting anything done.
    I am glad I found your blog. We have a lot in common even though my daughter is 17 and she is my only child. He wants to have children... Uh.. are you crazy??? 36 years old, a child with him.. lol.
    SSh, you know it wouldn't be that bad. I didn't say that.


  3. You've written about me AND my son, but you didn't know it. Great read! Thanks!

  4. Debi, I've always believed people have so many thoughts/feelings about having ADHD or loving someone with it and are too afraid of being judged to express them. I've always told my son maybe non-ADHD people are the abnormal ones and he's the normal one. God bless!