Friday, August 24, 2012

Come On Baby, Let's Do The Hop!...(And Giveaway)

This drawing is now closed.  Thanks for participating :)

Michelle over at Quilting Gallery has put together yet another spectacular opportunity to blog hop and I'm so excited!  This is my first-ever time to participate and give away some really awesome stuff!  If you've never visited her site, you're really missing out.  There are weekly themed contests, free patterns and, of course, blog hops.  Go on...go check it out!  Just click on the blog hop button over on the right side of my blog.

The theme of this hop is Celebrate Back to School Days!  I don't know about you, but I was so ready for the Co-Defendants to hit the books again that I could hardly contain my excitement...they went back on Wednesday.  School may mean homework, projects and, in my case, the occasional call from the principal (smile...sigh), but it also means an hour and a half all to myself between the end of the work day and the end of the school day.

The arrival of fall also signals that it's almost time for my mom and I to head to an annual quilt retreat hosted by our friend, Nancy.  Starting Thursday at noon until Sunday at 3pm, our only responsibility is to quilt.  It doesn't hurt that the retreat center also has an in-house quilt shop!  Meals are made and cleaned up after by someone else...and I get to use the restroom ALL BY MYSELF!    It's a real hardship, but I'll endeavor to persevere.

So, now for the reason you're really here... I know it's not just my charm (although, that is a bonus)!

I have TWO bundles of awesome up for grabs.

Bundle #1 is a copy of One Yard Wonders by Rebecca Yaker and Patricia Hoskins and one yard of fabric called 'Marcia' from Michael Miller.

Bundle #2 is a pattern called Charm Party Tote designed by Penny Sturges, a 'Desired Things' charm pack from Robyn Pandolph, and one yard of fabric called 'Olivia' from Gudrun Erla for Red Rooster.

So, what do I want from you?  Funny you should ask...

Leave me ONE comment.  Tell me which bundle you like and that gets you entered in the drawing.  As a thank you to my faithful blog followers, tell me in your one comment that you follow my blog and I'll give you another chance to win.  Simple right?  Remember, you only have to leave ONE comment. 

*If you're a 'no-reply blogger', you MUST give me a way to contact you.  I'll post a reply to your comment one time to let you know I need contact info.  If you don't reply, I can't include you in the drawing.  Sorry, but that's the way the cookie crumbles.   

*Yes, I'll ship international so don't be shy about entering if you don't leave in the U.S.A.  Contrary to what my children may tell you, I'm not cheap.

*The hop ends September 3rd and comments for my blog will close at 2 pm CST.  I'll draw names and post them on the blog no later than Wednesday September 5th.

*Leaving multiple comments won't work in your favor...please don't do it!

Josephine wishes you 'Good luck!'

No jumping through hoops here, 'cause let's face it y'all, I'm just too lazy for all that.  And besides, it's still too hot to jump...but it's never too hot to hop!

Happy hopping, y'all!

Bill Cosby Is Right!

I watched this video BEFORE I had kids and thought it was an absolute scream.  Now that I have them, it all makes perfect sense.   

product image

If you need a laugh for your TGIF, may I suggest this link...

Happy Friday, y'all!

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

One Happy Mother

I'm not entirely sure if they're just shinin' me on, but the kids swear they're ready for school to start tomorrow.  I know my parents are certainly ready since they kept the two money pits little darlings all. summer. long.  My mother swears there were times she thought she'd lose her schmidt.  I told her 'don't feel bad.   I lose mine every afternoon between 4 and 7'.

Captain Studly has a total of two, that's TWO kids in his class and that's counting himself.  The other mom remarked she hoped both boys would be super smart by the end of the year because it's almost like being homeschooled.  I'm already feeling sorry for their teacher not to mention that this is her first year at our school.  Pray for Mrs. H, y'all, she's gonna need it.  I'm not sure how many are in The Diva's class, but if last year was any indication, she'll have around eight.  Her teacher is a hugger.  Instead of a nice handshake greeting, I got the churchlady hug.  That's probably a cover for when she tries to strangle the kids, but hey, whatever works.  Private school is totally worth selling that kidney.  Just kidding.  Well, almost.

To celebrate the end of summer mourn the start of the school year, I took them to a local bookstore and turned 'em loose then took them to Chili's for dinner.  If eating with the senior citizen crowd in the late afternoon means getting seated without standing for 45 minutes nose to scalp with someone who hasn't shampooed since Noah set sail in the ark and having a waiter practically chained to your table because there's nothing else for him to do, I'm all in.  That. was. awesome.  Why, no, it doesn't take much to impress me!  How could you tell?
He looks so put upon, doesn't he?  She said she was trying to strangle him.  Do I miss not having any siblings?  Not a chance in hell.

And here's me in my annual pose, I kid you not, wishing and hoping and thinking and praying...
Please, Lord, let this be a phone-call and run-ins-with-holier-than-thou-mommas free year!


Friday, August 17, 2012

Yummy AND Fat Free

Himself (that would be dear hubby) is an eBay junkie and our bedroom seems to have morphed into a holding station for all the crap treasures he sells, so it's never a surprise to find our mailbox brimming with packages or have them strewn about the front porch.  Today was no exception...except the package was for me and The Diva.  SQUEAL!!

As a kid, I loved getting mail.  Now that I'm an adult, let's face it, most of it's just bills.  Or credit card offers I didn't request.  Or those damn subscription offers to Playboy which hit the trashcan so fast it's a wonder they don't leave skid marks.  Gawd!  But today's package was better than Tom Selleck from his Magnum P.I. days!  Stop reminising and drooling and pick your chin up off the floor...try for a little dignity here! 

Where was I?  Oh, yeah...

Wonder what's in there?

The suspense was killing her!

Aren't these the cutest?

She was all set to take a bite out of hers...she gets that weirdness from her father's side.  I'm a little crazy; he's a little weird.  Crazy takes talent and effort.  Weird is just genetics.  Just sayin'.

Thank you, Aunt Doris!  These little gems are awesome and have been eyeballed like MacArthur inspecting the troops.  Now we know what we'll do differently on our future teacakes!

TGIF, y'all!

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Save The Pincushions!

You know, like 'Save the Whales'?  Oh, never mind...

I'm now down to TWO pincushions I'm willing to swap with someone, anyone to save them from the fate of disappearing into the abyss I call Co-Defendant #2's room. 

I can't tell you which ones are left because Mickey T and Melanie have already staked their claim, but I think they're all pretty cute.

Any takers?

Save the pincushions!

A Time For Everything

There is a time for everything,
a season for every activity under heaven.

A time to be born and a time to die,
A time to plant and a time to harvest.

A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to rebuild.

A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance.

A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.

A time to embrace and a time to turn away.

A time to search and a time to lose.
A time to keep and a time to throw away.

A time to tear and a time to mend.
A time to be quiet and a time to speak up.

A time to love and a time to hate.
A time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Professor Bead-it

Yesterday, the Diva decided to teach me how to make the scrumptious felt tea cakes she'd made at Hip Stitch Studio awhile back.  I was a tad apprehensive as the Diva is alot like me in that she lacks a certain amount of, ahem, patience. 
Professor Bead-it

Here, the Diva's showing me how to sew sprinkles (beads) onto the tea cake icing.  The cake in the background is one she made at Hip Stitch.

Here, I'm getting a lesson on the blanket stitch and applying icing to the cake.
Uh-oh..she's pursing her lips.  I'm in trouble now.

Our completed tea cakes...don't they look awesome!

She made it...she taught an old dog tricks she already knew new tricks and looks quite pleased with herself! 

Frankly, I like playing dumb. On the one hand, it means a confidence booster because they're teaching me something and have to be patient because I'm old and feeble.  On the other hand, it means the Co-Defendants underestimate me and don't get away with near as much as they'd like...but that's fuel for another post.

Happy Wednesday, y'all!

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Let's Swap

Okay, so I got to thinking...close your mouths please it's really not THAT shocking...that since I've gotten a taste for swapping that I'd like to do it again.

And, no, I don't mean my husband.

I've got four pincushions left.  If they stay in this house any longer, they'll wind up in Co-Defendant #2's room and she's got enough crap stuffed in there that I swear one day I'll find Jimmy Hoffa.  Or that acting talent Brad Pitt supposedly has. 

Anybody out there want to swap pincushions with me?  If more than four folks say yes, I'll use the random number generator to pick 'em for me (after I pick myself up off the floor from the shock, that is).  And yes, I'll ship international.

So...who's up for a swap?

Have a great Tuesday, y'all!


Google better be on target with the post title translation...otherwise, I might be in really big trouble.

I'd like to be able to claim patience as one of my many virtues, but alas, like George Washington, I cannot tell a lie.  Oh, who am I kidding?!  I've told plenty and I'm fairly certain our founding father was no saint either.  Now, where was I?  Oh, yes... 

I have very impatiently been waiting for a little package of goodness from fellow blogger, Turid, in Norway and had begun to think that the U.S. Postal Service had sent it to parts unknown.  Turid suggested a pincushion swap after reading about some that I'd made here.  Having never participated in a swap and thinking that it sounded like fun, I accepted.

I practically mauled the postman this morning, y'all...look what I got!

The pincushion is made from selvages and has pretty pink decorative stitching.

I love it, Turid!  Thanks for suggesting the swap and for such an awesome pincushion.  It was worth the wait!

Happy quilting, y'all!

Monday, August 13, 2012

Even I Can Solve This Equation

Math and I have never been BFFs.  I cringe whenever I'm called upon to help one of the Co-Defendants with a math assignment.  The worst?  Word problems!  UGH!!  I hate having to weed through all that extraneous crap to get to the guts I need to solve the problem.   

Give me hailstones the size of Volkswagons!  Give me locusts!  Give me Justin Bieber live and in concert 24/7 in my living room!  Anything, but word problems!!

When, I asked my childhood self, would I ever use this crap?

Ladies and gentlemen, I submit to you, that today is that day.

Here's my version of Mom Math...

1 five year old Boxer with gastrointestinal upset...

plus 1 clean laundry room...

divided by 10 bath towels times 1 cantankerous washing machine that decided mid-cycle to spew its noxious liquid onto the already, ahem, soiled floor...

times 75 minutes to clean up the now swampy floor times 3 loads of now sodden filthy towels divided by 2 liters of pine cleaner times 28 paper towels plus 1 mop which I'll never use again times 2 gagging children equals how many beers for Mom?

If you said 1, you'd be right.  Give yourself a pat on the back!

It's Monday, y'all.

Ah, just another shitty day in paradise!

P.S. There are bonus points if you can guess what the time was when I actually consumed my beer.  Good luck!

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Sweet 'n Sour

Now don't y'all go thinking that the post title is referring to the Co-Defendants!  Oh, wait, that was my thought...hehe.  Ahem... 

It's Wednesday and I have a WIP to show you!  This is but one in a ginormous pile of WIPs tops, not to mention those I've already quilted that need the threads tied off.  Ugh!  There're parts to this quilting hobby that are nothing but pure unadulterated drudgery.  Where's the Quilt Fairy?

But, I's my WIP for Wednesday...

This is what happens when I get bored and decide to take a couple packs of charm squares and just run 'em through Lennie the Featherweight like Kirstie Alley through a bag of potato chips.  I'm still trying to decide on borders 'cause this girl is a wee mite skinny.  The quilt top, not me.

I like how it's turning out, though...all those funky patterns and pops of color.  And I love white in a quilt.  I know some people think it's nothing more than a distraction and utterly ruins a quilt, but white has its place.  Don't knock it!

On a side note...did you notice those tiny spots on the concrete? Yep, those are raindrops. This is August in Texas. I. am. excited.  And yes, this is the highlight of my day.

I'm linking up to Freshly to join me?

Monday, August 6, 2012

The Diva Did It

My mom took a tatting class this morning at Hip Stitch Studio while The Diva tagged along.  When Mom mentioned she'd be doing this, I thought it had 'disaster' written all over it.  But look what Miss Joan at Hip Stitch taught her to do while the grownups tatted...

Each cookie (?) has a bit of beading sewn on and they're just a bit stuffed.  She's not sure what they're supposed to be, but I think they're really cute and she's very proud of herself.  You go, girl!

The Diva

Friday, August 3, 2012

Funky Number Thirteen

Break out the Clearasil and lock up your daughters 'cause Co-Defendant #1 is celebrating birthday number thirteen and is he ever excited!  Frankly, I think the kid just needs a straight-jacket...
This is what I get for saying 'Don't look like a serial killer!'

No longer does he want to be referred to as 'Co-Defendant #1'.  He's been working out (with a 5lb neon pink handweight...sigh) and bulking up for the babes he's sure will be knocking down our door at any moment.  He is...Captain Studly!

He still has somewhat of an aversion to soap and water and generally feels that dousing himself in Axe body spray counts as personal hygiene.  Somewhere out there is a clueless girl who will marry him (hey, I'm not gonna warn her!)...and hopefully make him bathe.

His room is still a cesspool, but I content myself with the fact that his bedroom does have a door and I have enough sense (and sense of self-preservation) to close it.

It's not possible for him to be thirteen.  Then again, he told his sister it was entirely possible because I give them the best gift of all each year. 

I let them live.


Happy birthday, Captain Studly, from your mother, Wonder Woman!

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Memory Lane, Anyone?

Anybody out there remember what this is called?
Record player courtesy of Gramma
Yes, it's a record player and photographic proof that we had music before the iPod!  I miss records...go ahead, call me crazy!  Michael Jackson sounded sooo good on my Dad's old turntable.  Of course, that was before he got weird.  Michael Jackson, I mean, not my Dad.  There's something soothing and methodical about the whole process of putting on a record...kind of like I imagine high tea is for the British.  Go ahead and snicker...I'll wait while you catch your breath.

The records are the same record story books I listened to as a kid back when television was black and white and we had to wash our clothes in the stream out back.  Yes, these are questions my own children have asked me, the little twerps!

Know what these are?
The Diva and Captain Studly..getting along

Happy Thursday, y'all!

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Bowlin' With My Homies

Captain Studly decided he wanted to go bowling for his birthday (which is tomorrow, if anyone's curious) so this morning, after everyone was medicated, I packed us into the rolling marshmallow and off we went to the bowling alley.  Mind you, my visions of bowling alleys are somewhat fanciful and colored by memories of my youth since I was about twelve the last time I was in one.  I fully expected herds of chain-smoking elderly men, shirts stretched tautly across beer bellies and the lovely smell of stale sweat.  Oh, happy day!  What we got were alot of mommies trying to escape the heat and wear their little darlings out in the process.  We mommies can be so e-vil!

I had coupons for free games for the kids and managed to finagle all our games at a discounted rate (Nana, you'd be so proud of my thriftiness!) and I must say, I found bowling shoes to be somewhat retro chic.  Weird, but there it is.
I fully expected to be sporting that orange ball in my forehead.  The kid scared me!

The Diva had a tough time and resorted to rolling the ball 'like a baby'...her words, not mine.

If it weren't for the bumpers, none of us would've hit a pin!  Thankfully, there are no pictures of me.  I felt like a baboon in stilettos.  However, bowling proved to me that my children can get along with one another and be generally supportive of the family unit.  Or maybe that's just 'cause we were in public.