One Happy Mother

I'm not entirely sure if they're just shinin' me on, but the kids swear they're ready for school to start tomorrow.  I know my parents are certainly ready since they kept the two money pits little darlings all. summer. long.  My mother swears there were times she thought she'd lose her schmidt.  I told her 'don't feel bad.   I lose mine every afternoon between 4 and 7'.

Captain Studly has a total of two, that's TWO kids in his class and that's counting himself.  The other mom remarked she hoped both boys would be super smart by the end of the year because it's almost like being homeschooled.  I'm already feeling sorry for their teacher not to mention that this is her first year at our school.  Pray for Mrs. H, y'all, she's gonna need it.  I'm not sure how many are in The Diva's class, but if last year was any indication, she'll have around eight.  Her teacher is a hugger.  Instead of a nice handshake greeting, I got the churchlady hug.  That's probably a cover for when she tries to strangle the kids, but hey, whatever works.  Private school is totally worth selling that kidney.  Just kidding.  Well, almost.

To celebrate the end of summer mourn the start of the school year, I took them to a local bookstore and turned 'em loose then took them to Chili's for dinner.  If eating with the senior citizen crowd in the late afternoon means getting seated without standing for 45 minutes nose to scalp with someone who hasn't shampooed since Noah set sail in the ark and having a waiter practically chained to your table because there's nothing else for him to do, I'm all in.  That. was. awesome.  Why, no, it doesn't take much to impress me!  How could you tell?

He looks so put upon, doesn't he?  She said she was trying to strangle him.  Do I miss not having any siblings?  Not a chance in hell.

And here's me in my annual pose, I kid you not, wishing and hoping and thinking and praying...

Please, Lord, let this be a phone-call and run-ins-with-holier-than-thou-mommas free year!

AMEN!

Grow Up And Hold Your Horses

Today's installment of Friday finishes is a tad bit of quilting with a heavy dollop of kid.

First, the dollop.  By now, you probably know I refer to my kids mostly by the shared moniker of 'The Co-Defendants'.  They have names that I occasionally use on this blog and I few I use only under my breath...schmitty mommy that I am.  Anyhoo, Seth, that would be Co-Defendant #1, had a checkup the other day in which he sauntered back to the waiting room and informed me, rather smugly, that he was now 5 foot 2 inches tall.  Do what?!  I'm 5 ft 5 1/2. 

He's twelve and wears skis for tennis shoes. 

Now, you might be thinking Criminy woman, would you get to the quilting point already but let me stop you here and say...patience, Grasshopper, patience.

He was my 4 lb 1 ounce, 17 1/2 inches long little bundle of joy that brought me gifts even before he arrived...yes, I am referring to morning sickness and stretch marks, but gifts nonetheless.  Go to the grocery and pick up one of those 4 lb packages of sugar and that's how much he weighed.  He was a newborn yesterday and now he's almost thirteen.  Pass the Xanax!

Gone now are thoughts of Would you grow up already! to be replaced by Hold your horses!  I am entirely too young and fabulous for him to be that old, not to mention that tall.  He's my baby, he's not supposed to be able to look me in the eye.  I snark at him to eat healthy so he'll grow taller and catch up to his Dear Sweet Mother...he's still probably wondering who she is.  Geez, Mom it's only three more inches he says.  It's three AND A HALF came my reply.  The little darling.

This picture isn't quite accurate since the little toot's slouching, but he's almost got me.  Handsome devil isn't he?  He gets it from his mother.  Okay, and Dad, too.  He'd never be one to stir up trouble, not with that angelic face.  Did I mention I'm now a pioneer at his school (hangs head in hands).  Don't ask, just pray.  Really, really, really hard.

Okay, now for the quilting.  I have the most miniscule finish in the History of Ever.

I got this paper-piecing kit (admit it, you're shocked that it's yet another paper-pieced project) in a goody bag from a quilt retreat way back and thought how cute it was and what fun it would be to make.  Apparently, the giver knew something I didn't since it was passed along complete with fabric.  I won't tell you what I think this looks like because what I think is just plain tacky (smirk) and it was the biggest waste of time.  Whoever came up with the pattern needs to be taken out back and given a good old-fashioned whoopin'!  It finished at roughly the size of a mug rug and my Mom thought the addition of the dragonfly button really 'made it'.  Not sure if this is her polite way of saying That's really ugly and I'm just trying to be nice or what.  At this stage, I'm not sure I'll make its companion or not.  We shall see.

So what've you been working on this week?  Check out these fun links at Crazy Mom Quilts, Confessions of a Fabric Addict and Amy Lou Who.

Happy quilting, y'all! 

And remember, it's three AND A HALF inches...just sayin'.

Thankful Thursday: Co-Defendant Style

I rushed through the front door this afternoon to hear the teacher's voice leaving a message on our answering machine.  Oh, the unbridled joy!  I quickly snatched up the phone, sat down and said with resignation 'I'm here...what's going on'.  Yes, I have a PhD in Scholastic Interpersonal Relationships.  Does this make me a crappy mother that I expect the worst, or what? 

The voice on the other end cheerfully (dare I say she chirped) explained that it was good news...didn't all parents like to get good news? she asked.  Well, heck yes, but it's just never been in regard to one of my kids.

She used words like conscientious, good listener, role model, mature.  You know, words that have heretofore never applied to my son.  I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, for the 'however...' but it never came.  I replayed what was on the answering machine to him when he got home.  It rated a smirk and a grunt.  (Insert twirled finger and 'big whoo' uttered in a thoroughly bored tone here)

Apparently, he's growing up (fist pump and sniffle) and she just wanted to let me know how well he was doing.


HOOOOOOOOO-RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!! 

The Co-Defendants

My Fridays off are usually reserved for some serious one-on-one time with my Featherweight.  Today however has been spent huddled under a blanket...let's just say I feel icky and skip the details.  So, I spent my day channel flipping between episodes of 'Lockdown' and 'Gangland'...who knew the U.S. was filled with so many nefarious folks and thugs.

Anyway, I took this photo of the Co-Defendants a few days ago and wanted to share with anyone who stumbles onto my blog to know for now and all time that yes, my kids do occasionally get along and despite appearances to the contrary actually love one another.  Peace between these two tends to come under the heading of 'little to none', so if I can capture it for posterity, you better bet I'll be all over it.

Number 2 seems to be thinking quite a bit about her brother heading off to make his way in the world and leaving her here with The Parents...oh, the horror of it all!  Why this is even occurring to her at this point is kind of curious because Number 1 is only twelve!  At any rate, she's a tad territorial shall we say when it comes to her big brother.  I feel really sorry for his first girlfriend...or any of his girlfriends for that matter.  Geez, I'm betting having her for a sister-in-law will be worse than the dreaded mother-in-law...'cause after all, I'm a peach!!

On a side note, please pray for the quick recovery of Susan's husband as he recovers from a nasty automobile accident. 

Happy quilting, y'all!