Math and I have never been BFFs. I cringe whenever I'm called upon to help one of the Co-Defendants with a math assignment. The worst? Word problems! UGH!! I hate having to weed through all that extraneous crap to get to the guts I need to solve the problem.
Give me hailstones the size of Volkswagons! Give me locusts! Give me Justin Bieber live and in concert 24/7 in my living room! Anything, but word problems!!
When, I asked my childhood self, would I ever use this crap?
Ladies and gentlemen, I submit to you, that today is that day.
Here's my version of Mom Math...
1 five year old Boxer with gastrointestinal upset...
plus 1 clean laundry room...
divided by 10 bath towels times 1 cantankerous washing machine that decided mid-cycle to spew its noxious liquid onto the already, ahem, soiled floor...
times 75 minutes to clean up the now swampy floor times 3 loads of now sodden filthy towels divided by 2 liters of pine cleaner times 28 paper towels plus 1 mop which I'll never use again times 2 gagging children equals how many beers for Mom?
If you said 1, you'd be right. Give yourself a pat on the back!
It's Monday, y'all.
Ah, just another shitty day in paradise!
P.S. There are bonus points if you can guess what the time was when I actually consumed my beer. Good luck!
Give me hailstones the size of Volkswagons! Give me locusts! Give me Justin Bieber live and in concert 24/7 in my living room! Anything, but word problems!!
When, I asked my childhood self, would I ever use this crap?
Ladies and gentlemen, I submit to you, that today is that day.
Here's my version of Mom Math...
1 five year old Boxer with gastrointestinal upset...
plus 1 clean laundry room...
divided by 10 bath towels times 1 cantankerous washing machine that decided mid-cycle to spew its noxious liquid onto the already, ahem, soiled floor...
times 75 minutes to clean up the now swampy floor times 3 loads of now sodden filthy towels divided by 2 liters of pine cleaner times 28 paper towels plus 1 mop which I'll never use again times 2 gagging children equals how many beers for Mom?
If you said 1, you'd be right. Give yourself a pat on the back!
It's Monday, y'all.
Ah, just another shitty day in paradise!
P.S. There are bonus points if you can guess what the time was when I actually consumed my beer. Good luck!
Oh you poor dear! Haha! That pouch is so cute though! I hope your day got better Stephanie!
ReplyDeleteGod! I just cant take it! You make my belly hurt from laughing so hard!! Have another beer, you've earned it!! F****** word problems, I used to hate them too!!
ReplyDeleteOh, you poor thing--how could you only have 1 beer after a day like that? we have always had at least one dog in our house--I can relate-I don't even want to think about sharing any of the stories with you-I'm not up to gagging already this morning and I'd sure hate to bring it all back to you as well :) Hope today is a better day!
ReplyDeletep.s. Are those The Pioneer Woman Cookbooks I spy in the back?? Love them!!