Thursday, June 21, 2012

You Don't Want To Go There

Pardon me while I rant.  Or don't pardon me.  It's your call.

This goes out to every judgemental asshat who thinks they have a say in how my husband and I parent our children, specifically about our decision to medicate them because of their ADHD.  If you're one of those folks that thinks ADHD is about bad parenting or out of control children who just need a good old-fashioned ass-whoopin', let me assure you you don't know shit.  ADHD is a medical condition related to brain chemistry and brain anatomy.  It can be hereditary.  Don't believe me?  Look it up.  And before you go all snarky, no I didn't drink or do drugs while I was pregnant.  And no, I've never done dope at any other time, either. 

A friend summed ADHD up this way...imagine every movie, TV show and commerical you've ever seen and every song you've ever heard.  Now imagine all those sounds and images barrelling through your brain at once.  All that WHILE trying to learn and live a normal life.  Sounds like a picnic, right?!

Both my kids struggle: one with grades, the other with behavior.  I'm proud to say one child's last report card was mostly, this isn't me being sarcastic.  The other one struggles to make and keep friends because they play like an NFL linebacker and ping-pong between activities.  They get in trouble for fidgeting and talking out of turn, stuff neuro-typical children can control and parents of neuro-typical children take for granted.  You think this is easy for them?  Screw off!

Come live ONE day inside of them and see what it's like.  You couldn't hack it.  I'm the Mom and I only see part of their struggle.  I cannot imagine what it's like to have ADHD, nor do I care to do so.

You don't like the fact I put them on amphetamines?  Trust me, you wouldn't like them off of them.  You, you judgemental asshat, would be the first to bitch and whine about their behavior and why aren't you as a parent doing anything about it!  They are truly lovely children even though I bitch about them on this blog.  I'd like them even if they weren't mine.   

Do not question our decisions as parents about how/when/why we treat these children with medications.  It's for their benefit, not yours.  Rest assured, we monitor their weight and make sure they have a good diet.  We watch them closely for side effects.  Not that this is any of your affair.  They are, after all, my children not yours.

I am the mama bear.  Don't mess with my cubs.


  1. Give 'em hell, Stephanie.

    I have a very profound story about a friend and her daughter that made me a real believer in the benefits of medicating some children.

    You made an informed decision and it sounds like the right one. The rest of the world can take a flying leap.

  2. Way to stand up for your children by telling the ones who really have no right saying anything anyways off. I think to many times other people feel they have a right to tell us how to raise our children. Hello unless you where at the delivery you have no right in telling me what is best for my children.

  3. I think most people are clueless about ADHD--but if their frontal lobes displayed the same symptoms, they *might* begin to understand. I also think there are very few professionals who get it or who care to understand it in a holistic way. There's quite a bit of evidence showing that Omega-3's can make a difference, and I'm encouraged by that, and certain there are more things that can help. Since I was kicked in the head several months ago, I've learned a whole lot more. It even took a brain specialist weeks to figure out that part of the problem for me was vestibular--and that issue created a whole bunch more symptoms. (I've never before experienced things like I'm experiencing now.) Kids who can't focus miss so much in life, and they deserve a chance--while I know adults who've felt that in the long run their own ADHD was a great asset. However, since kids can't think it through, can't really analyze it, and can't control those under active frontal lobes, loving parents can be one of their greatest assets. The people who are judging you really don't get it.

  4. (I am the mama bear. Don't mess with my cubs.)


  5. You tell 'em!!!!

    As I do not have children, I cannot relate. However, my 67 year old boss has it. I know that their grown family suffered severly until they were able to diagnose what he had and get it controlled by proper meds, shortly before I started working here 12 years ago. It is a small family business (I'm the only one not family) and he shares the main office with myself. I have learned to tell the changes in his behavior that indicate he did not take his meds, which he refers to as his "asshole pills", because if he doesn't take them, he turns into an asshole-his words, not mine!

    Kudos and hugs to you for telling them like it is!!! It is something you don't understand unless you are going through it and no one deserves to judge anyone! For those that are so judgemental of it and against the treatments for it, I would surely feel sorry for their kids that could have it-as they would perhaps be constantly being punished or disiplined or what have you for things that are out of their control!

  6. Right on!
    When our son was diagnosed and put on meds the Doctor explained it like this: you are standing in an electronics store staring at the wall of all those tvs for sale. Each one is on a different channel. Customers are walking through and around you, overhead radio playing, etc. And I want you to answer a question about the football game on one of the tvs. That's ADHD. Medication? That's like turning 6 of the tv's to the same football game. Doesn't solve everything, but gives the kid a fighting chance to be successful.

  7. Bless you for parenting your children taking responsibility and accountability for the and, most of all, for loving them.