You'd think as a Mom to two of my own fairly nasty little urchins I could claim to have seen it all. After what I recently witnessed I can now proclaim "NOT!"
One evening I found myself (alone) at the local Barnes and Noble cafe sipping something warm, caffeinated and high in calories while perusing my newest purchase when in walked a gaggle of what I can only describe as "Earth Mothers". Surely you've seen at least one as they aren't an endangered species....long flowy skirts, Birkenstocks, organic cotton wafting in the breeze...you get the idea. A group of five, they plopped down two tables over and proceeded to wax rhapsodic about everything "kid" from pesticide-free veggies to vaccinations. One of these fine ladies was toting a tot in one of those slings that reminds me of a marsupial (I always wondered how the kid never fell out, but I'm too shallow to ask). After a bit, she retrieves said child, flops him onto her lap and proceeds to........CHANGE HIS DIAPER!!
AT THE TABLE!
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CAFE!!
NO, I'M NOT KIDDING!!!
There was nary a pause in the conversation, no sign that any of these women thought this was absolutely disgusting, not a single "OMG, are you serious?" By now, my solo evening is beginning to lose it's luster and I'm thinking surely one of these chicks is going to say something.
Thank goodness I didn't hold my breath. Earth Mom proceeded to finish diapering her boy (yep, full frontal shot thanks very much) which seemed to take forever as she wiped and wiped and wiped....why yes, a fully-loaded diaper....WHOHOO! She finally rolled the whole thing into a tidy little bundle and...wait for it, wait for it...plopped it on top of the table! Table conversation never faltered.
I was utterly aghast! Granted, everyone poops and babies certainly don't have a care as to when or where, however I don't need to be privy to anyone's (ahem) excretory adventures. I'd like to think I'm reasonably progressive, but next time take your kid to the can!
And make damn sure you wipe down your own table before you snack because one man's table is another's changing station!
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Monday, January 10, 2011
SNARK!
I like sarcasm. When used effectively you can make your point without resorting to cursing or raising your voice. I think of it as the ultimate foreign language (and lots easier to learn than say, Spanish!)
I also like sharing: ideas, beliefs, opinions. Which probably explains my love of Facebook and blogging. Where else can you get quilting tips, see the latest photo of someone's kid or find out how so-and-so's date went Saturday night? I suppose it's because God made me female and supposedly we never run out of fodder for all our verbal vomit. Whatever!
Mind you, all that sharing isn't everyone's cup of tea when you factor in the Boogieman and national security. Fair enough. The thing that chaps my hide is the not so subtle vibe some people give off that says if what I believe doesn't mesh with what they believe then one of us is wrong, namely me.
Uuuuummmm....NO!
The stuff I talk about is everyday Mommy drivel, not ethical dilemma type stuff. It's in the trenches parenting and life crap that you either laugh about or take a pill over. Oh, wait, I laugh AND take a pill. Whooopsies!!
I'm all for engaging in what the media like to term "meaningful dialogue", but if your verbal fencing is going to be reduced to verbal backhanding or profanity, kindly count me out.
I also like sharing: ideas, beliefs, opinions. Which probably explains my love of Facebook and blogging. Where else can you get quilting tips, see the latest photo of someone's kid or find out how so-and-so's date went Saturday night? I suppose it's because God made me female and supposedly we never run out of fodder for all our verbal vomit. Whatever!
Mind you, all that sharing isn't everyone's cup of tea when you factor in the Boogieman and national security. Fair enough. The thing that chaps my hide is the not so subtle vibe some people give off that says if what I believe doesn't mesh with what they believe then one of us is wrong, namely me.
Uuuuummmm....NO!
The stuff I talk about is everyday Mommy drivel, not ethical dilemma type stuff. It's in the trenches parenting and life crap that you either laugh about or take a pill over. Oh, wait, I laugh AND take a pill. Whooopsies!!
I'm all for engaging in what the media like to term "meaningful dialogue", but if your verbal fencing is going to be reduced to verbal backhanding or profanity, kindly count me out.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Finding the Sun
To say I've not been in the Christmas spirit this year would be a MAJOR understatement. I've just not felt moved to do the usual decorating; even Christmas cards were a source of some serious irritation. Anyway, we'd planned to update our central AC/heat system so it didn't seem prudent to go all-out with the usual decorations and our enormous tree until after the work had been finished. Needless to say, the children weren't pleased since all the stuff starts to go up Thanksgiving Day. So we made a deal with them and settled on a 4 foot "Charlie Brown" tree instead and cut way back on the inside decorations. This seemed to appease them.
The outside stuff is Clint's turf...lights and yard art, etc. Apparently, he's suffering the same malady as me. So last Sunday, after much begging and pleading all four of us trouped outside in the cold and wind and proceeded to "do" the house only on a much less grand scale. We hung gaudy plastic ornaments and glittered snowflakes; put out the lighted tree and presents and a couple of yard flags, my personal favorite being the one that says "Jesus is the reason for the season". The children were quite pleased with themselves...hey, they were happy! Who am I to complain?
Now anyone who lives in Central Texas knows how windy it is here. Those ornaments banged constantly on the gutters and would keep me awake for hours. I sooo wanted them GONE!
Until the following Tuesday when we arrived home from school to discover ALL the ornaments and the Jesus flag had blown away...stripped off the gutters and yard stands. I couldn't help but feel like a total heel. Had I wished hard enough for all the banging to stop and this was the result? Oh, the guilt! The kids' faces were just awful. I couldn't have cared less about the ornaments, but the flag was another matter. So we dispiritedly began to pick up what we could find, which as it turned out, wasn't much.
We'd just started to make our way back inside when Paige came running from the side yard yelling "I found the sun! I found the sun!" Enter in one of those Mommy moments that don't make me proud: all I could think was "Honey, you ARE a blond". It finally occurred to me that she was clutching something and she kept yelling "I found the sun!" When she got to me and opened her hands, I could finally see what it was...our Jesus flag.
My daughter had indeed found The Son.
Here's wishing you and yours a Christmas season filled with The Son.
Merry Christmas
The outside stuff is Clint's turf...lights and yard art, etc. Apparently, he's suffering the same malady as me. So last Sunday, after much begging and pleading all four of us trouped outside in the cold and wind and proceeded to "do" the house only on a much less grand scale. We hung gaudy plastic ornaments and glittered snowflakes; put out the lighted tree and presents and a couple of yard flags, my personal favorite being the one that says "Jesus is the reason for the season". The children were quite pleased with themselves...hey, they were happy! Who am I to complain?
Now anyone who lives in Central Texas knows how windy it is here. Those ornaments banged constantly on the gutters and would keep me awake for hours. I sooo wanted them GONE!
Until the following Tuesday when we arrived home from school to discover ALL the ornaments and the Jesus flag had blown away...stripped off the gutters and yard stands. I couldn't help but feel like a total heel. Had I wished hard enough for all the banging to stop and this was the result? Oh, the guilt! The kids' faces were just awful. I couldn't have cared less about the ornaments, but the flag was another matter. So we dispiritedly began to pick up what we could find, which as it turned out, wasn't much.
We'd just started to make our way back inside when Paige came running from the side yard yelling "I found the sun! I found the sun!" Enter in one of those Mommy moments that don't make me proud: all I could think was "Honey, you ARE a blond". It finally occurred to me that she was clutching something and she kept yelling "I found the sun!" When she got to me and opened her hands, I could finally see what it was...our Jesus flag.
My daughter had indeed found The Son.
Here's wishing you and yours a Christmas season filled with The Son.
Merry Christmas
Thursday, November 25, 2010
I (Think) I'm Thankful
Ah, Thanksgiving 2010. I'd like to say our day started off well, but for those who know us, who am I kidding! The day started with piercing screams (the kids', not mine), a fist fight (again the kids, not me), a bad dog (just what is the attraction of a foam faucet cover?) and more screaming (me this time). Which begs the question: For what am I thankful? So in a half serious-half attempt-at-sanity-saving, I offer you the following items for which I am thankful...
An Ode to Thanksgiving
Togetherness; therapy (probably a result of the first)
Humor (God's which seems in an abundant supply and mine which I occasionally dredge up)
Adderall XR (you gotta live it to get it)
New day, every day
Kindness of strangers (and family, but they're just strange, not strangers); and kids
Second chances; my sweet spouse; sweet potato casserole
God's grace (thank you, Lord, that it's a bottomless supply)
Imagination aka creativity
Vino (Dulcis Rosso, if you're curious)
Infinite patience (God's, not mine)
Nickelback (hey, I said "half-serious")
God's mercy and everlasting love
I hope you see the humor here; and yes, I'm serious about each and every thing I've listed. I hope your Thanksgiving finds you surrounded by loved ones whether they're living or in your memory. And that you don't have to referee any fist fights!
An Ode to Thanksgiving
Togetherness; therapy (probably a result of the first)
Humor (God's which seems in an abundant supply and mine which I occasionally dredge up)
Adderall XR (you gotta live it to get it)
New day, every day
Kindness of strangers (and family, but they're just strange, not strangers); and kids
Second chances; my sweet spouse; sweet potato casserole
God's grace (thank you, Lord, that it's a bottomless supply)
Imagination aka creativity
Vino (Dulcis Rosso, if you're curious)
Infinite patience (God's, not mine)
Nickelback (hey, I said "half-serious")
God's mercy and everlasting love
I hope you see the humor here; and yes, I'm serious about each and every thing I've listed. I hope your Thanksgiving finds you surrounded by loved ones whether they're living or in your memory. And that you don't have to referee any fist fights!
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
New Beginnings
Ah, the start of yet another school year. The frenzy of clothes shopping (shorts must be the proper length), big-kid tennis shoes (no, Mom, not Dora, she's for babies), backpacks and lunch kits. It never fails that year after year, as summer nears its end, the kids and I are ready for school to resume. Of course, by November we're generally pining away for the end of May. Go figure!
This school year has been a huge change for our family. Both kids are now in different schools: Paige has stayed in public school, while Seth has moved to a private one. It's never been any secret that Seth has ADHD and has really struggled through every year; this year, Clint and I wanted it to be different. I could sit here forever and list comparisons between the two schools, but it's enough to say that each child is now in an environment in which they are thriving.
Paige's reading continues to improve and she's now working with her favorite teacher again, Mrs. Connally. She's so proud when she can sound out the words and just soaks up the praise she receives. She bounds off the bus every afternoon and runs to greet her brother (Bubby, I misted you!) then plops down at the kitchen table, scarfs a snack and starts homework.
By this time, Seth and I've already been home for an hour and so far, his homework routine has gone just as smoothly. Each Monday, they have a spelling pretest; a grade of 95 or above gets you out of having to take it again on Friday. Allow me to boast when I say he's yet to take a Friday test!! His handwriting is definitely improving and he seems more patient with himself and others.
There are so many questions that run through my mind:
Is some maturity finally showing itself?
Is it that each kid is in their own school environment?
Will it last?
I'll admit, I'm probably one of the biggest pessimists ever, so it's really hard to see the good happening and not wonder when the other shoe will drop. The more I think about that, the more I realize that it robs the kids of the greatness they achieve each day and that simply isn't fair. Far better, to take things as they come, relish the wondrous, slog through the tough and come out the other side a better person and parent for doing so.
Both my kids prove to me every day that life does hand you lemons. One child will enjoy the lemon as it is...sour and shocking. The other will add a little water and sugar and enjoy the sweet. Neither way is wrong, just different. What will you do with the lemons life gives you?
This school year has been a huge change for our family. Both kids are now in different schools: Paige has stayed in public school, while Seth has moved to a private one. It's never been any secret that Seth has ADHD and has really struggled through every year; this year, Clint and I wanted it to be different. I could sit here forever and list comparisons between the two schools, but it's enough to say that each child is now in an environment in which they are thriving.
Paige's reading continues to improve and she's now working with her favorite teacher again, Mrs. Connally. She's so proud when she can sound out the words and just soaks up the praise she receives. She bounds off the bus every afternoon and runs to greet her brother (Bubby, I misted you!) then plops down at the kitchen table, scarfs a snack and starts homework.
By this time, Seth and I've already been home for an hour and so far, his homework routine has gone just as smoothly. Each Monday, they have a spelling pretest; a grade of 95 or above gets you out of having to take it again on Friday. Allow me to boast when I say he's yet to take a Friday test!! His handwriting is definitely improving and he seems more patient with himself and others.
There are so many questions that run through my mind:
Is some maturity finally showing itself?
Is it that each kid is in their own school environment?
Will it last?
I'll admit, I'm probably one of the biggest pessimists ever, so it's really hard to see the good happening and not wonder when the other shoe will drop. The more I think about that, the more I realize that it robs the kids of the greatness they achieve each day and that simply isn't fair. Far better, to take things as they come, relish the wondrous, slog through the tough and come out the other side a better person and parent for doing so.
Both my kids prove to me every day that life does hand you lemons. One child will enjoy the lemon as it is...sour and shocking. The other will add a little water and sugar and enjoy the sweet. Neither way is wrong, just different. What will you do with the lemons life gives you?
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