Monday, April 11, 2011

Gold on the Inside

I wanted so desperately for him to win a ribbon at the UIL competition last week.  He'd picked 800 word list to study, but hey, he's a VERY good speller.  'Please, Lord', I pleaded, 'let him win a ribbon.  Any ribbon, any color, any place...1st, 2nd, 6th I don't care.  Just let him have that, Lord.  He's trying so hard and it'd mean so much.'  So, the day of the competition arrived and I sent him off with a hug and a go-get-'em attitude and prayed again.  By late afternoon, they were finally ready for the awards ceremony and I sat there with my fingers crossed, still pleading silently for that ribbon.

He didn't win.

I felt a little deflated, but even worse was the thought of what was to come.  I just knew he'd be terribly upset, after all, I sat there watching him as he watched his fellow spelling competitors win various ribbons and he got a little less animated every time.  Why couldn't he have just one stupid ribbon?  Would that've been so hard?

I got him in the car and asked 'You okay, buddy?' 
'Fine', came his reply. 
'A little disappointed?' 
'Some', he said 'but it's okay.' 
I cringed inwardly, expecting the worst in reply to my next question: 'You gonna try again next year?' 
'Well, sure!' came his exuberant reply.  'It was alot of fun!'

They say the good Lord gives you what you need, not what you want.  I sure wanted that outward sign of his success so I could say 'See how well he's doing, how far he's come?'  God saw what Seth needed, that boost of inner confidence that maybe today wasn't his time, but he'd try again...and that makes him pure gold on the inside.


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